How to make your New Year’s Resolution a Success
I love New Year’s Resolutions. They are a great motivator and the beginning of the year is a perfect time, starting with a clean slate, a new chapter.
Often though, we have fallen off the bandwagon by the end of January. Why is that?
I used to set my new year’s resolutions and goals based on what I saw other people do or have.. Eventually I figured out that their goals weren’t mine, so it was no surprise that I didn’t achieve them. Raise your hand if you’ve done that too.
Typically, we try set goals and make decisions to improve and enhance our life. A mix of goals is valuable - some intangible ones like building resources and some tangible ones, like a nice holiday by the sea. I am ok with the fact that some are a means to an end (✅) and some are something I value and treasure (❤️). Diversity keeps me interested and on track.
Try testing the decision and your commitment to the goal by asking:
Can I and have I made them part of my lifestyle? Am I ready to live and experience them?
Is it real and authentic or is it a pseudo-goal, that will make me look good amongst my peers and show that like ‘everyone else’, I have new year resolutions.
Will the goal and commitment to it be liveable and sustainable or will it lead to stress, unrealistic expectations and ultimately disappointment?
Are the goals and resolutions in line with my talents, skills, my lifestyle and my relationships?
Even with the best intentions and decision making, life sometimes just throws us a curve ball; and the hardest part is looking back and counting off the goals one didn’t achieve. I had big ones for myself for 2022. Then early in the year, my mother fell grievously ill overseas and I nursed her to the end. There were incredibly difficult decisions to be made during that time. And while I thought I had managed well, fact is, the rest of the year was a write-off in terms of achieving any goals. Getting out of bed was a struggle on some days and those who know me would never have believed that possible. I beat myself up for all the perceived failures and non-deliveries against my goals. It took a lot of my own training to realise what I was doing to myself and even more to start counting all the things I had learned and achieved that had not been on my new year’s resolutions and goals list. Who puts dealing with grief on their new year’s resolution list?
As my new year’s resolution for 2023 I am giving myself more slack, compassion and gratitude. But I also have tangible goals, like managing a pull-up and getting back into lead-climbing. My resolutions are there to give me motivation, but they are not set in concrete. I realised last year that is neither sustainable nor liveable. Every goal can be replaced. There is no failure, only a learning.
How do you set your 2023 resolutions and what are you looking to achieve in 2023?
If you want to talk about your goals of 2022 that didn’t quite make it or talk through the 2023 resolutions now or when they seem unworkable, email me at sonja@adventureyourself.com.au
Wishing you a wonderful 2023!