Are you really present when you are ‘here’ (or ‘there’)?

Yes, sure, you are here physically, but what about mentally and emotionally?

Like when you sit down for dinner with your family, are you fully able to focus on them for a while? Really ‘be’ with them? Not with the emails that still need to be send or the meeting that didn’t go quite to plan. But be with those around you, the ones that matter in the moment?!

Why am I bringing this up?

I know what it is like to want to be with someone. I craved my dad’s attention because he travelled a lot for work. So when he was home, I wanted to be with him and I wanted him to ‘be’ with me. Sometimes it worked, at other times, I knew he was there physically, but his mind was on other things, not with me. Replies to questions were preceded by a “Oh sorry, I wasn’t listening, can you please repeat?” or “You were talking so fast, I couldn’t understand you, can you please repeat?”

Surely my dad’s mind would work fast enough for him to follow the rambling of a 6-year old?

Often, we tell our kids to go ahead and do something and we will ‘be right there’. Except for when we are ‘there’, we scroll on our smart phone or prop the laptop open. We are here but not present with them. What kind of message is that sending to our children? What are we role-modelling for them? Where and when did we learn that?

How present are you in a meeting? Raise your hand if you have had your laptop open in front of you during meetings, busily working on something until your agenda point comes up, typed texts while someone is presenting? Seems pretty normal these days. And it often happens unconsciously, with no intention to hurt anyone.

Except - how do you feel when you are the one presenting and you notice others are NOT present to what you are presenting? Unseen? Unheard? Not important?

And how awesome is it if your audience is fully present to you? When was the last time you experienced someone being present with you?

sonja@adventureyourself.com.au – come on the adventure with, for and to yourself. And be present.

#bepresent