From Floundering to Success

If you think that as a well-being and mindset coach I don't fail and flounder, the short answer is "I do".

I grew up in an environment and society where perfection and high achievers were rewarded and asking for help was frowned upon. Over the years I excelled at being hard on myself and not allowing myself to show any weakness or ask for help. By any standard, I was successful.

I was also deceiving and defeating myself in the process.

I still fall into that trap. And I too need a coach to make me aware of what I am doing.

I went climbing on the weekend. By all means, the climb SHOULD have been within my abilities. Notice the should, the expectation. Halfway up, I really got myself into trouble. Suspended with about 100 m of air below me, I was stuck - big time. Whatever I tried, it didn't work. I didn't have the physical strength and my mind wasn't coming up with a workable solution. So I had to admit to my buddy that I needed help. That sucked. Not sure what hurt more, my ego or my body. I was angry, frustrated and disappointed at myself for failing, for asking for help, for not being good enough, for holding my buddy back. He just laughed and said great, we get to practice self-rescue skills in real life.

Light-bulb moment for me. I trusted my buddy and knew I was safe with all the redundancies we had put in place and tested, even with a 100 m of air below me. My buddy had my back and saw opportunity, where I had initially seen challenge and frustration. I could do the same if I took on a different perspective and mindset. With that in mind, I went to work.

In the end, it took less than a minute to get me past where I was stuck, once we had put the plan in place.

Yes, sometimes we need help. The failure is not in asking for help, the failure is in not asking. And success is seeing opportunity in a challenge.

As a coach, I am not asking for what I am not ready to bring myself - trust, vulnerability, emotions, openness, perspective, courage.

Let me know if you're stuck and we can work on a plan to get you over that challenge - sonja@adventureyourself.com.au